{"id":806,"date":"2016-05-04T03:03:51","date_gmt":"2016-05-04T03:03:51","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/?p=560"},"modified":"2024-03-25T18:10:23","modified_gmt":"2024-03-26T01:10:23","slug":"57-getting-into-the-top-5-by-overcoming-fear-of-the-unknown","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/57-getting-into-the-top-5-by-overcoming-fear-of-the-unknown\/","title":{"rendered":"57: Getting Into the Top 5 by Overcoming Fear of The Unknown"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<iframe title=\"Libsyn Player\" style=\"border: none\" src=\"\/\/html5-player.libsyn.com\/embed\/episode\/id\/4338986\/height\/90\/theme\/custom\/thumbnail\/yes\/direction\/backward\/render-playlist\/no\/custom-color\/4ac1c0\/\" height=\"90\" width=\"100%\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"\" webkitallowfullscreen=\"\" mozallowfullscreen=\"\" oallowfullscreen=\"\" msallowfullscreen=\"\"><\/iframe>\n\n\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-1018\" src=\"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Podcast-Cover-Photos-16-300x187.jpg\" alt=\"Podcast Cover Photos-16\" width=\"300\" height=\"187\" srcset=\"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Podcast-Cover-Photos-16-300x187.jpg 300w, https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Podcast-Cover-Photos-16.jpg 767w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In\u00a0episode 56, I shared with you the 3 simplest steps to take action and I shared stories of success and failure resulting from taking action and not. Today, we\u2019re going to talk about one of the reasons why people \u2013 maybe even you \u2013 don\u2019t take action.<\/p>\n<p>Last week, I presented a challenge to take action on something small toward your big goal within the next 24 hours. What I know is that there were only about 10% of you who actually accepted this challenge and took action.<\/p>\n<p>How do I know? Because most people \u2013 90% &#8211; are average in life and in pageants. That\u2019s why it\u2019s such an honor to place in the top 5 of 50 contestants.<\/p>\n<p>I\u2019ve coached thousands of women all across the US in every major pageant system, and the ones that end up in the top 10% are the do-ers, not the dreamers.<\/p>\n<p>Every single woman competing in a pageant has a dream \u2013 she believes she can make it to the top! She feels alive when she envisions herself winning the title! She\u2019s passionate and excited!<\/p>\n<p>But only 10% of women competing (who also have the dream, by the way), are do-ers. Only 10% of these women take consistent and committed action toward their goal. The top 5 are an elite group of action-takers that will likely be successful no matter what they attempt to accomplish. Why? Because they aren\u2019t afraid of what they don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n<p>In this episode, I\u2019m going to share with you how to overcome the fear of the unknown and create a strategy for your pageant success that will get you into the top 10% of elite pageant women.\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-embed is-type-video is-provider-youtube wp-block-embed-youtube wp-embed-aspect-16-9 wp-has-aspect-ratio\"><div class=\"wp-block-embed__wrapper\">\n<iframe title=\"Getting Into the Top 5 by Overcoming Fear of The Unknown  (Episode 57)\" width=\"800\" height=\"450\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/U6-dlbvzfgc?feature=oembed\" frameborder=\"0\" allow=\"accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture; web-share\" allowfullscreen><\/iframe>\n<\/div><\/figure>\n\n\n<h4 style=\"color: #ed295e; font-weight: bold;\">First, let\u2019s understand the Fear of the Unknown.<\/h4>\n<p>It could be the fear of the outcome (success or failure) or fear of the process. Fear of outcome is that they are afraid of either succeeding and having to change everything they\u2019re comfortable with or failing and having to face the fact that they need a new idea.<\/p>\n<p>Fear of the process is not having an actual strategy to follow step-by-step to know the path you have to take to get to the winner\u2019s circle. These fears generally stem from three areas:<\/p>\n<p>+ Lack of experience in risk-taking<br \/>+ Lack of education<br \/>+ Lack of multi-dimensional identity\u00a0<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"color: #ed295e; font-weight: bold;\">Lack of experience in risk-taking:<\/h4>\n<p>Women who haven\u2019t taken risks in the past can\u2019t adequately understand the comparison of a benefit over a risk. They have a hard time seeing how overcoming a risk can bring them benefits beyond the obvious. It takes someone with experience in risk-taking to point out these benefits and train someone to recognize that they are able to pivot as more information is received.<\/p>\n<p>Women who have studied abroad or frequently travel are great at diminishing fear of the unknown, because they\u2019ve had so many risky experiences where they\u2019ve failed or had success &#8211; with language, cultural norms, moving to a new area, getting lost, etc that they realize the benefit of trying is awesome compared to the risk of failing.<\/p>\n<p>Risks of the unknown become less and less scary because they\u2019ve been there, done that and figured it out before. They understand that if they can overcome this challenge, the benefit will be huge.<\/p>\n<p>This usually shows up in my coaching as initial excitement followed by a series of What If questions\u2026<\/p>\n<p>+ What if it doesn\u2019t work?<br \/>+ What if that\u2019s not what they want?<br \/>+ What if I run out of time?<br \/>+ What if it works sooner than we planned?<br \/>+ What if I don\u2019t have enough?<\/p>\n<p>When my clients ask these rhetorical questions, my answer is not \u201cOh yeah, I never thought of that. If you run out of time you\u2019re screwed, so let\u2019s not even do it.\u201d Haha! That would never happen!<br \/>Instead, my clients expect a strategy as an answer.<\/p>\n<p><strong>What if you do run out of time?<\/strong> Well, I suppose you\u2019ll be just half way there. Whoopdi-do.<br \/><strong>What if you don\u2019t have enough for everyone?<\/strong> Well, you\u2019ll have to create a wait list and then make more.<br \/><strong>What if it doesn\u2019t work?<\/strong> Well, we\u2019ll have to analyze why and create a new plan of action.<\/p>\n<p>My point is that if you answer these questions and follow it down the rabbit hole, you\u2019ll discover your fears are likely irrational and you\u2019ll be much more certain about your need to take action.<\/p>\n<p>Before I consider a new VIP client, I ask them to describe previous failures and we discuss their interpretation of these experiences. The top 10% are the ones that are able to focus on the benefits that out-weigh the risks, not a bunch of irrational fears.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"color: #ed295e; font-weight: bold;\">Lack of Education:<\/h4>\n<p>Women who have not had an educational experience have a limited <em>understanding<\/em> of their abilities to grow and develop new skills. This isn\u2019t about ability. We all are capable of learning, but if you haven\u2019t stretch those muscles in a while, it\u2019s going to be hard to <em>believe<\/em> it\u2019s possible. Women that easily overcome this are the ones that are currently pursuing education in their life in any other area: a college student, a woman who signs up for snowboarding lessons rather than sitting out the trip, a woman who follows cookbooks to learn new recipes, someone who is always youtube\u2019ing how to videos for everything from cleaning a coffee pot to programming a cell phone. These women know that if they can\u2019t do it now, all they have to do is find someone to teach them how. This usually shows up in my coaching as \u201cI can\u2019t\u201d and \u201cI don\u2019t\u201d beliefs.<\/p>\n<p>+ I can\u2019t lose weight.<br \/>+ I can\u2019t afford it.<br \/>+ I can\u2019t speak like that.<br \/>+ I could never do that.<br \/>+ I don\u2019t know how.<\/p>\n<p>Someone is coachable when instead of saying I can\u2019t or I don\u2019t, they ask questions to learn:<\/p>\n<p>+ How can I lose weight?<br \/>+ How can I afford it?<br \/>+ How do others speak like that?<br \/>+ How could I ever do that?<br \/>+ Can you show me how?<\/p>\n<p>Before I consider a new VIP client, I ask when was the last time you invested in your education. The top 10% are the ones that are educationally-focused.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h4 style=\"color: #ed295e; font-weight: bold;\">Lack of Multi-Dimensional identity:<\/h4>\n<p>Another common reason for fears is a one-dimensional identity. If we feel our identity is all wrapped up in one area, we\u2019re less likely to take a risk that could result in failure. That\u2019s why parents are criticized when they are only telling their kid how great they are in one area rather then pointing out skills in many areas of what makes them who they are. The women that are least likely to suffer from this are those that have a solid support system of people from areas outside of pageantry, like their husband, family, and best friends who know and love them for other strengths and skills that they own as an individual. They\u2019re identity is multi-dimensional. They are a sister, wife, professional, mentor, volunteer, mother, and\u2026.beauty queen.<\/p>\n<p>This usually shows up as the woman that \u201cWants to prove it to everyone that she can do it.\u201d Or she believes that this will be the solution to all of her other problems. \u201cIf I just win Miss America, everyone will love me.\u201d Not true, hunny. You need to get your credibility and self worth from other areas of life before a pageant win can even be in the cards.<\/p>\n<p>Before I consider a new a VIP client, I want to make sure she is not a crown-chaser \u2013 the type of woman that has a one-track mind. My winners have a vision far greater than just the title, they want to impact their world and use all their areas of life to assist their pageant title and their career.<\/p>\n<p>All people have these fears \u2013 even the most successful people. The difference is how they respond to their fear by taking action and pursuing their goal.\u00a0<\/p>\n<h3 style=\"text-align: center; color: #ed295e;\">The difference between the average 90% and the women standing in the top 5 at the end of the pageant is that these 10% of elite women chose coachable over comfortable.<\/h3>\n<p>90% of people want to keep doing what they\u2019re doing so they don\u2019t have to do what they don\u2019t already know.<\/p>\n<p><em>It\u2019s the Miss USA contestant who says, \u201cWhat if I win and have to move to NYC? I\u2019ve never lived in a big city before.\u201d verses\u00a0the one who says, \u201cI need to learn about living in a big city so that I\u2019m ready for when I win and need to move there.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>It\u2019s the 18-year old Miss America contestant who says: \u201cWhat if I win this year and I don\u2019t get all those years to learn how it\u2019s done and make connections?\u201d verses\u00a0the one who says, \u201cI better buckle down and get a strategy to get make up for my lack of experience.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p><em>It\u2019s the 35-year old woman who says, \u201cI can\u2019t be in a pageant now because all those other girls have been competing for years. I could never do that.\u201d verses\u00a0the top 10% who say, \u201cI need to learn how to compete in a pageant against all these girls that have been doing it for years.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Many women are terrified of the Top 5 On-stage question. I tell all my clients, if you want to get a crown on your head, you WILL answer an on-stage question, so stop avoiding it and start practicing!<\/p>\n<p><strong>Don\u2019t lower your expectations to your level of education and experience. Raise your education to your level of expectations.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>The top 10% of contestants don\u2019t rely on their excuses. They take a risk, get educated, and use their experience to advance themselves in pageants, career, relationships, and life. They get a strategy and get into the top 5.<\/p>\n<p>Today, I want you to take charge of your pageant experience and overcome the fear of the unknown. If you feel you are ready to step into the Top 10% (remember, it\u2019s not about ability it\u2019s about willingness), then I invite you <span style=\"text-decoration: line-through;\">to schedule a <a href=\"https:\/\/app.acuityscheduling.com\/schedule.php?owner=11532541&amp;calendarID=196138\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">free Strategy Call with me \u2013 for free<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"text-align: center;\">Hey girl! Strategy Calls are no longer available. But, you may like our new course &#8220;Pageant interview Game Plan.&#8221; Click <a href=\"http:\/\/interview.winapageant.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">HERE<\/a> to learn more.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>For more great pageant training, enroll in the\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/freepageantcourse.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" data-saferedirecturl=\"https:\/\/www.google.com\/url?q=http:\/\/FreePageantCourse.com&amp;source=gmail&amp;ust=1583616946812000&amp;usg=AFQjCNHe1YQzqw9ar1f-oA3dl-t_B29QZA\">Free Pageant Course<\/a><\/p>\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><a href=\"http:\/\/FreePageantCourse.com\"><img decoding=\"async\" width=\"700\" height=\"300\" src=\"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Free-Pageant-Course-1.png\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-3269\" srcset=\"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Free-Pageant-Course-1.png 700w, https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/Free-Pageant-Course-1-300x129.png 300w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-medium wp-image-1018\" src=\"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Podcast-Cover-Photos-16-300x187.jpg\" alt=\"Podcast Cover Photos-16\" width=\"300\" height=\"187\" srcset=\"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Podcast-Cover-Photos-16-300x187.jpg 300w, https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/Podcast-Cover-Photos-16.jpg 767w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>In episode 56, I shared with you the 3 simplest steps to take action and I shared stories of success and failure resulting from taking action and not. Today, we\u2019re going to talk about one of the reasons why people \u2013 maybe even you \u2013 don\u2019t take action.<\/p>\n<p>Last week, I presented a challenge to take action on something small toward your big goal within the next 24 hours.<\/p>\n<p>What I know is that there were only about 10% of you who actually accepted this challenge and took action.<\/p>\n<p>How do I know? Because most people \u2013 90% &#8211; are average in life and in pageants.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s why it\u2019s such an honor to place in the top 5 of 50 contestants.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":1018,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34,43,47],"tags":[186,95,97,110,149,184,185,180],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=806"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8107,"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/806\/revisions\/8107"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1018"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=806"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=806"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/winapageant.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=806"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}