Just because you enter a pageant, doesn’t mean you have to want to win.
I know. Shocking! But, seriously!
Pageant contestants sometimes get caught up in the need to win without truly considering what they really want. Here, I’ll teach you a 4-step exercise to help you determine your ultimate goal. You’ll be surprised to see some of the reasons that woman compete to not win their pageant. Teresa Scanlan, former Miss America 2011, is a good example of someone who won her first local, state, and national title and may have missed out on a longer pageant career if that was her goal. We can’t say for sure what her ultimate goal was, though I don’t know too many people who would bulk at a national title opportunity like that!
This exercise is also helpful for every pageant you enter because it can bring up some hidden fears that you may have that you aren’t even aware of. These fears and insecurities can keep you from winning the title – unless you surface them now.
To Win or Not To Win – That is the question!
Step 1
Write a list of all the reasons you DO want to Win (try to write at least 10)
Step 2
Write a list of all the reasons you Don’t want to win (try to write at least 10)
Step 3
Examine the “Don’t” list and for every idea you wrote down, label it either rational (meaning, it’s real and has a real impact) or irrational (meaning it’s silly and you can get over it).
Step 4
For the irrational ones, create a counter-argument to nix that from the Don’t (for example, if you wrote you don’t want to win because you’re afraid you’ll break out by wearing make up, you can nix that by saying you’ll find the best make up for your face and practice good skin care so that you don’t break out. There! Problem solved!)
For the rational ideas – the ones that worth taking seriously, ask yourself if this is something that you can live with as a titleholder or if this is worth not winning the pageant over (for example, if you have a wedding scheduled for next month and if you win you can’t get married, that is an excellent reason to compete and not want to win).
Once you’ve gone through this exercise, you’ll have a better idea of what is truly holding you back from winning. If there is nothing noteworthy, then you can put all your eggs in the Winner basket and go for the gold!!
I’ve included for you below my actual process for competing in my pageants so that you have an idea of how I did this in real life.
I’d love to see your process! Post an image on Instagram and use the hashtag #WinAPageant.
Download this example in PDF: To Win or Not to Win (Alycia’s example)
And that ladies, is how you win a pageant!
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