Controversial questions are the most dreaded of all, sometimes pageant contestants tend to believe that the judges are looking for you to answer the way they would answer so you share their opinion.
But honestly, I already know you know that isn’t true. You’ve been listening to my sermons long enough to know that this is crazy.
Yet, I’d bet you still pray to God that you are never publicly asked how you feel about gay marriage or abortion especially in the case of rape.
That’s not how I want you to be: hoping you aren’t asked difficult questions.
Instead, my goal for you is that you WILL be asked these types of questions so that you are given the power to impact people and speak hope, joy, and life into everyone you meet! Today, I’m going to give you the simple elixir to these worries of public humiliation and the catch-22 of controversy.
Values. That’s the remedy to confusion.
Core values draw a line in the sand. They separate the high from the low; the big from the small; the right from the wrong.
A value is something that you believe is worth something… it’s valuable.
Values are our decision-making guides. They help us choose between left and right, good and bad, up and down. They don’t always juxtapose a good and a bad. Sometimes it’s two goods that you have to choose between and your values are what guide you.
If you value time with your family more than you value rugged independence, then you’ll go home a few weekends from college. If you value traveling the world more than financial security, then you’ll blow your savings on a Grecian cruise with your friends.
Sometimes we battle who’s values are more valuable than the others…. Silly, I know.
Like if you value work and I value education – how can we say one is better than the other, right? It depends on what you value more.
Controversial questions are controversial because there are a million ways to look at it and a bunch of lenses that can shape what we see. When you answer a question that is controversial, you are putting your values on display. It’s the perfect opportunity to showcase who you are at a soul level and stand up for your beliefs.
When you say something or do something that goes against your values you usually feel bad about it. The same can happen when you’re living outside of your values.
My senior year in college, I was dating a guy who was into hobbies and people that I wasn’t into and I was noticing that it was changing me in a way I didn’t like. We’d been together for over a year so it was a shock to him when I did a values list and he wasn’t in my top 5. I broke up with him and when he asked why, I was like “you aren’t in my top 5.”
I want you to make a list of things that are important to you. That you’d pay a lot of money to maintain or give up whatever is necessary to keep. Don’t just put “Family” cuz you think you should. Drill down to understand what that really means.
Usually, our circle of friends tell us where our values are. How you spend your time and money is also an indicator of your values system. The bible says, “Where a man’s treasure lies so too is his heart” which is a fancy way of saying if you spend money on stuff, it must be important to you. Maybe look at what your last big purchases were for a hint at what you value.
It could help to start with a broad list of like 20 things then circle and prioritize the top 5 – that’s how I got rid of the college boyfriend.
Once you know your values, practice expressing them throughout your life.
My husband and I have our relationship values posted on our living room wall and every month we talk about how they’ve shown up in our lives. I know these values and I live them daily, so when a question arises I can anchor back to these.
You’ll do the same in your pageant. If you know your values and live them daily, then when you get a question that threatens them, you’ll be able to stand up for your beliefs with respect and truth.
And that, my dear is how you win a pageant.
***The Pageant Interview Master Class is this weekend – Saturday morning on Facebook Live. Get all the details at Interview.WinAPageant.com and I’ll see you Saturday!***